Nah, a list of Gwinnett high schools would have a lot more Confederate generals in it.

I mean, it’s plausible. The real winner of this DQ is the 70-year-old guy who ran 2:54:23 legitimately:

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don’t they help themselves
But when the taxman comes to the door
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale businesses declare a billion dollars in losses

Yeah. he may have the money and her catalog, but he also has the horror of waking up every morning and remembering he’s called “Scooter”. Can’t say I’d trade my life for his.

It only occurred to me in the last year that Austin Powers was frozen for the entire time Thatcher was PM. Even after Vanessa caught him up on past events, how likely is it his mind would go to history he didn’t live through rather than something from his own experience?

Marva Whitney, bringing both the noise and the funk in equal measure.

Yeah, the timing of the ride kind of constrained me, I shoulda talked to the guy or gal operating the ride to see if they could give me the opportunity to really explore the comic potential of my premise.

I remember going to Disney World when my brother and I were probably a little old for it (like, 11 and 13) during an off week shortly after New Year’s. There were small crowds, so we’d exit the ride and get back in the short line to go again. Just to spice things up on the third time through, when the windows open up…

They need to wise up quick. We’re getting close to the point in history where Old Glory robot insurance is actually going to come in handy.

Much like the Reds benefit from popping up as an answer when you try to enter Red Sox or R******s, the Cardinals and Panthers probably get a statistical boost from the baseball and football teams with the same names. You can see there’s only a few tenths of a percent difference between Carolina Panthers and Florida…

While this will languish in the greys, there’s a pretty good chicken marinade developed by Professor Robert Baker, of Cornell University. He went around promoting this at county fairs and barbecues, leading to a lot of families in the region adopting this recipe for their own grilling.

“Well, we went through the whole case of Evian, and Mr. Potter’s house is still ablaze. You don’t suppose we should try putting it out with tap water?”

Nah, the construction industry is all mobbed-up, he just called in a few ‘favors’.

Mentioned in one of the linked articles, about McConnell being behind Gov. Bevin dropping Jenean Hampton as his running mate, was the suggestion that Hampton mount a primary challenge against McConnell in retaliation. Which I’m now going to repeat, in my ongoing (as of ten minutes ago) quest to will such a challenge…

You’ve also got the Detroit Rule named after you, though this pizza seems to clearly violate it:

Dear Dad, I r ...arely drive steamboats.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch will cut a b*tch. I don’t get how Kate can complain about Corn Flakes for scraping the roof of your mouth and then make that her next pick.

Shoot, I had it confused with the other Bloomington, the town south of Minneapolis, which can be reached by taking Penn Ave out to the 494.

I don’t know about midwest and western states, but I feel like I have a good idea of how strict the state laws are on the east coast, as if the huge glut of fireworks stores just over the border into South Carolina wasn’t a giveaway. There was always billboard leaving the state that said “Buckle Up! North Carolina…

Me yesterday: “Man, I really wish someone would finally sign Craig Kimbrel.”