I have never seen The Spirit, I just remember Sam Jackson boasting in the trailer that “I have eight of everything!” I turn to my friend I was at whatever movie this trailer preceded and asked, “Does that mean he has eight dicks? Where does he buy pants that fit?”

And on the finest Clash album:

Little known piece of court trivia, the obscenity that Associate Justice Potter Stewart was actually referring to was Earl Warren’s newly-acquired fondue pot, which he insisted on setting up on the bench, dunking skewered bread into hot cheese in the middle of deliberations.

Williams is a good pick, as a combination of power and average, and a guy who actually served in WWII. Of course, given that Hitler’s head is a larger and slower moving target than the average baseball, I imagine even a poor-hitting pitcher like Sandy Koufax, to choose one at random, (career average .097, 2 HR) could…

So we can just say these things and make them happen? Fishbone, cover “Hots on For Nowhere” by Led Zeppelin.

The better question is how fourteen-year-olds get into Weezer- the Blue Album probably came out when her parents were in high school.

They do promotion, it’s just that that promotion is in the form of an auto-playing Kimmy Schmidt ad with sound every time I open Netflix to watch something else this week. I’m already your customer, Netflix- there’s no need to keep hassling me, and you’re only making me reconsider my subscription.

Darn my luck, mine just had a portal to Narnia.

They should send Cleatus, or whatever the name is of the Football Robot That Will Not Stop Moving For Two Goddamn Seconds On the Side Of the Fox Football Broadcasts Because They Think I’m a Fucking House Cat Who Gets Entranced By Shit Like You Jangling Your Keys.

It just occurred to me because it’s the same way they found Piers Morgan. Or will find Piers Morgan... wait, what year is this again?

Why go for mysterious when you could stage it so it looks like he died of auto-erotic asphyxiation in a motel room full of lewd drawings of Mickey Mouse?

Nah, they’d go with David Hyde Pierce.

“He has [...] an apparently pretty decent film director”

Do these claims extend to AVC Gimmick Account Emeritus “Skrull Imposter Stan Lee”?

Cookie Monster is the AV Club’s Greatest Monster.

This is pretty good with the beats and the shouting.

You mean you’ve never heard the popular basketball expression, “Ballin’ like a baby” used to refer to someone’s formidable basketball skills? Sources disagree as to whether it refers to Glen “Big Baby” Davis of the Boston Celtics, or to Baby Jesus’s 42-point performance against the Harlem Globetrotters:

Reading through his one-star reviews, it seems like everyone’s put-downs were weak compared to Ebert’s.

I was taken off guard when he didn’t begin “Now this is a story all about how...”

He was his second choice, after McGruff the Crime Dog’s nomination was waylaid by drug charges and a butt-sniffing scandal.