there is a second

“Man, we never get the cool stuff over here in America”

Dude got to this point in one year and y’all like, “meh”. Shit. I’d kill to be able to do this.

I had a couple pandemic days where I made mimosas.

My wife and I bombed around southern England in one while on our honeymoon. It was a fun, little, basic cheeseball of a car.

Because permanent fixed to the floor carpet is a modern invention and the phrase predates that.

San Mateo is not San Francisco.

Gosh sorry to hear it was not benevolent kindness which motivated your mother, I had no idea. Sounds like you had the inner strength to overcome and persevere. My mother was Italian, and when I got a new job as an ICU nurse away from home about two hours away she would mail treats now and again, as did her sister (my…

Also, where is the damn space laser when I want it the most?

My food replicator only makes cold Earl Grey tea no matter how many times I ask it for hot.

They are considered cooler than motorcycles in some ways. Especially because in Europe gas is expensive, like, really expensive. So a big chrome gas hog that takes up two scooter parking spots in a small European city with limited space is considered gauche and try-hard. And why do you need a honking shiny speedster wh…

So you muricans just refuse to use a measurement that makes sense, huh?

“It sounds amazing.”

Tons of people attended.  There just weren’t very many of them.

Later, when the fat solidifies, I scoop it into the trash

Wait, why would you want to remove the best part?

I could drink hollandaise by the glass. I love Bérnaise too. No one makes chateaubriand anymore.

“She was a always quiet neighbor, but I suspected something was wrong when she didn’t peel her kiwis before eating them.”

“Like, was it really awesome, or was it that first breath of fresh air after Andy Dufresne crawled out of the poop tube ?”