+1 hastily-painted helmet and 2 flaking frostbitten feet.

40%? Thank you for your generosity!

The Oakland Raiders: 40 percent of a football team on 80 percent of a football field.

You mean 3/5ths?

History, common sense, being at least 3% aware of how America operates?

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

*somewhere, Robert Griffin III sticks another pin in the life-sized Mike Shanahan voodoo doll he keeps in his pocket...*

It ain’t the media that gave him $137 million.

“I forget that his knee was hurt,” said head coach Kyle Shanahan.

Sad for Jimmy, but this is great. Every time one of his former backups who played wonderfully in NE turns into a pumpkin elsewhere, Tom Brady chews a pair of Kraft’s slippers.

They really fucked it up this time, didn’t they my dear?

I heard they’re not even his sons!

oh no, Marlins Man has a child army now

After the game Kimbrel refused to join the rest of the team for a meal in the cafeteria and instead found an empty area of steps where he could eat his sandwich alone......

“I mean, I’d never really considered it. What if I really am just a belly-itcher?”

One slight error in the story. The location it happened, RM 2222 at the 5600 block of Mount Bonnell Road, is in west Austin, not east. That it happened there doesn’t surprise me. It’s a fun road to drive because of the turns on it but it’s also very dangerous because of the ups and down and turns. I HATE pulling out…

Let us not dwell on the question of how a strained calf managed to become a high ankle injury

If this poor guy didn’t have bad himself, he wouldn’t have any himself at all.

Office is such a strange product. Like most people I use a tiny miniscule fraction of what it can do and if they hadn’t (like assholes) swapped from .doc to .docx a few years ago, I’d still be using a version even older than the one I use now...if they went to like .docz I think I’d honestly just swap to google docs.…