They guy that hit him there built my condo in Palm Beach

Hogwash. His lugubrious gait is clearly due to his phlegmatic state. We need to drill into his skull, release the phlegm and reseal the sinus.

Logically, they'll do some bloodletting and leeches during this stint.

I think that series of events is called "a daily commute" in Boston. 

Saw two drivers get into it on a street here in Boston and the one in front starts brake-checking, the one behind starts ... speed-checking? ... and accellerating behind them and then stopping just short to, I dunno, scare them.

If only Bob Brenly had been there. 

If it doesn’t matter, then neither do they. So it has to matter.

The degree to which sportswriters think that petty bullshit like this matters is just staggering.

If she wasn’t she is now!

If she wasn’t before, the brain damage she just suffered made her one.

As if that weren’t bad enough, this poor lady finally made it to the hospital, only to discover that this was her attending medical team:

the important thing is that everybody tried hard and had fun

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

I sincerely hope this woman is ok. Now. With that out of the way, I cannot stop laughing hysterically and my bartender says I have no soul. I imagine the lady is in there thinking “this is it. I’m going out in a whirl of adrenaline and blood to the head. I should have stayed in the goddam desert.”

It will be interesting to see how the firefighters spin this story.

On the one hand, this is a fairly harmless and funny prank. On the other hand, this guy runs a parody Steve Berthiaume account for some reason. 

I only really know Bart Starr from those great old NFL Films specials, but goddamn he sure seemed cool as hell behind that helmet with the single bar facemask.

Robert Parish. 

It’s from the Italian capovaccaio, meaning “white Egyptian scavenger vulture,” an avian species widely known for its prevarication.

Of the old NBA stars, who would have been the worst tweeters?