Goddamit.

Since the article doesn’t actually detail his last 2 days against the O’s, I will:

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Dont forget his bunion stories.

and then Phil Rizzuto would tell everyone about the great meal he and Cora had at Anthony’s in Yonkers- “the best Cannelloni the Tri-State Area” and then the game would be over and The Honeymooners would come on channel 11....

I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Kay and Sterling are terrible, but the one thing they do well is call home runs.

And Nixon was president.

In the old days of old Yankee Stadium, you would say “Judge hit one into the Monuments....The Stadium was 460 or so  to CF, and all those Monuments used to be in the playing field....

Old news! He has since hit a second homer, this one to right field, making him 4-4 on the day.

Then the next inning, he hit a 402 laser the opposite way. I don’t know what baseballs did to him when he was a child, but he’s punishing them now.

Also, Gary Sanchez decapitated a baseball that went 450 feet. Good day for strong dingers.

Kraft is pure nostalgia. The store brand shit can’t supply the particular kick to the nuts the blue and white Kraft box does when it reminds me that my childhood was truly a dumpster fire. That’s how we stoke depression.

The store brand is the only good stuff left ever since Kraft caved to the Food Babe types and removed all the artifical colors and flavors. Kraft is utter garbage now.

You say that like it’s a bug, rather than a feature.

mmmm...tastes like giving up.

Off topic, but yes, watermelon! Eating one of those volleyball-sized ones in one sitting would be a cinch.

I know. These one-percenters lording it over us with their branded Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes. I’m surprised they don’t slip in there all nonchalant-like that they usually go for the White Cheddar kind, which, sure, costs a little more, but, you know, is worth it, they’ll nod to each other.

A copy of the response I received after telling the Coca-Cola Company that my family will not be purchasing their products as long as they sponsor FIFA’s endorsement of slavery.

I already “boycott” most of these brands due to my urge to live as long as possible but damn FIFA straight to hell for making me have to apply for a Discover card.