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What you need is a father who is unabashedly frugal when it came to spending money on cars. After my sister wrecked our family ‘79 VW Rabbit, my dad, mom and I went looking for a replacement. This was smack in the middle of the 1980's, and peak K-car. Our local Dodge dealer had several Reliants on the lot, and my dad…

I had to go down the list far too long for this.  My dad and his step-father flew one out of Put-In-Bay island in Ohio back in the 50’s. His step dad stalled and crashed it, but the Ford was repaired and flew again.  

Hey Rob, you forgot the Seat “Toledo”. Just like our state legislature, Toledo gets forgotten.

I’m currently looking for a new to me car, somewhere in the $2,500 - $6,000 range, with less than 120,000 miles. It does pose its limitations, but I have found a few potential candidates, ranging from a ‘98 Olds Intrigue with 35K miles, a 2010 Focus with 75K miles, and a ‘03 CR-V with 115K on it. Throw in a random…

Well, maybe in the near future, 3D printing may solve some of those problems of old, brittle plastic.

There is also the salvage yard for used parts. They just have to be relatively easy to replace. The heater controls on my Focus can be replaced by removing a trim panel and a few bolts. My brothers Audi, not nearly so easy. Simplicity is something automakers should be striving for as well, instead of more complex and…

Yep. I was just in a parts hunt for my Focus, which is just 13 years old, and even though there are plenty at the junk yard, parts that commonly break are getting scarce.  

I just finished my glass of Scotch.  Why you making me get another glass this late in the evening? Damn you. Damn you all to Hell.

I think you mean the Turbo Encabulator. It derives it’s power through modial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive diractance.  Everyone knows this. Where have you been?  

Well shit. That sure beats all the crap that my son, his scout troop and I pulled out of a ravine yesterday as part of the Clean Your Streams day. Seven plus tires, broken bikes, scooters and 20+ bags of garbage. It was nasty  

Having owned a Mangusta since the early 1970's, they are very easy to own and maintain. Very little, if no repairs or maintenance is required. Really, the cost of ownership has been near zero. Wonderful car, one of the jewels of my collection.

You know what, I’ve seen it happen too. When I busted a hydrant off of its mount with my car, and water gushed several feet into the air. The hydrant fucked up my car, left an awful bruise on my leg, and cost me $300 to replace the hydrant.

I’m not saying you’re wrong, but I hit a fire hydrant back in the mid-90's with my VW Golf. I clipped it right off its mount, and water went “swoosh” about 5 feet in the air. The city charged me $300 for the hydrant.

Yep, Rob’s gonna buy this car. Automatic NP.  

Spun car. Hit hydrant. Sploosh.  

I live in N.W. Ohio. It gets very cold here. I clipped a hydrant when I spun out my car. Water went whoosh about 5 - 10 feet into the air for a minute or so, then just burbled out till it was shut off. Damn hydrant bent the frame of my Golf, and left a bruise on my leg the size of my hand.

Oh, no. Trust me. You knock over a fire hydrant, water comes a-spewing. That one is probably disconnected or inoperable.

If you’re going that route, get a 3.8 V-6 out of a Camaro/Firebird. Throw a supercharger on it and call it good.

Just to be clear, “You can’t fix stupid” is Ron White. “Here’s your sign” is Bill Engvall. Give credit where credit is due.