Yeah Samer what the hell man. We had a thing going here and you ruined it.

Of course.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Am I the only one who thinks that maybe this guy is in the closet?

Here’s another one:

Anybody want to watch the Cardinals lose the World Series?

What kind of a bonus does he get for getting to 700 home runs, and would the ticket sales for people interested in seeing him hit that milestone be enough to make keeping him in the lineup profitable?

“Some say it was the Zika virus, some say it was the dirty water...but the real reason behind the start of the zombie apocalypse at the 2016 Rio Olympics was a small group of hungry reporters, unable to find any sustenance other than the warm bodies of their fellow scribes.”

Yeah but how many MPG do they get with TRUCK NUTZ on them?

Just wait until these augmented reality games are on VR headsets. We’ll all be wandering into traffic but the traffic will have wrecked five miles back because they’re playing Need for Speed: Go on their VR headsets.

It adds to the bouquet.

Rice. Because it’s delicious!

You know it’s been a bad season when the BENGALS of all teams are now the Steelers’ most hated rival.

It’s not the first time a shirtless male has been around a group of Cardinals.

Has Skip Bayless been spotted anywhere near Rio? I think we may have found the source of all the shit.

Just have the giant Jesus statue turn the water into wine. Problem solved.

I’m not super clear on Canadian football rules. Does he have to say sorry to the opposing team now?

Well the Red Sox had Schilling and Bill “The Spaceman” Lee.

Who would win the office thumb war tournament? How about arm wrestling?

Ew. Yeah...I don’t think that’s cool. Like, at least get the diamond put in a different ring.