deadspinstaph
Deadspin Staph
deadspinstaph

ERRONEOUS! No such thing as a “gorgeous mullet”. The two are mutually exclusive.

Ah, the “Dwight Schrute Method to Immune System Building”.

Even our 3rd kid doesn’t wear Luvs. We don’t hate them.

Congrats on your first child Mike! Here is what you have to look forward to if you have more.

Hey now take it easy there bub...fingernails on a chalkboard isn’t THAT bad.

Number 15 is literally a foot taller than any of the defenders. Why didn’t they just lob it up to him?

But how else will I watch NBA playoff basketball without falling asleep in the first quarter? - Old Guy

I’ve heard of the “I didn’t know how old she was” defense, but I must admit the “I didn’t know how old I was” defense is a new one.

Cormier is 37. Wow. Did not realize he was that old.

Sam Blandford is the rice cake of NFL quarterbacks. Not good, easily broken, and way too expensive for what he provides.

The Ohio state flag is a pennant, because reasons. (Ok so it’s technically a “burgee”, which is the flag of a recreational boating organization according to Wikipedia. So apparently Ohio was originally formed as a yacht club. Suck it, poor states.)

Front row at an NBA playoff game guy at a family dinner:

Before every pitch, Matt Albers says to himself in his head, “Thunder, thunder, thunder, ThunderCats, hooooo!”

9? Johnny Depp starred in “The Ninth Gate” with Emmanuelle Seigner, who is married to Roman Polanski. Roman Polanski’s parents were sent to Nazi concentration camps. The German word for “no” is “nein”. I’m not saying the St. Louis Cardinals are a buncha Nazis, I’m just saying the evidence points in that direction.

Swing and a miss but thanks for playing. I’m not a Warriors fan.

First time I heard “on line” was in Seinfeld. Pretty sure it is a NYC thing and the only people who say it elsewhere moved there from NYC.

Good stuff! Interesting look behind the curtain.

The Warriors can be beat in this year’s playoffs! When their best player is out and their 2nd best player goes 0-7 from 3 and their 3rd best player bounces the ball off his foot at the end of the game, but still!

Is it legal to require a background check for a potential “occupant” if you are a “tenant”?

Welcome to the John Rocker Club For Disgraced Professional Athletes, Mr. Shaw! Tonight’s dinner will be all white meat chicken breasts with a white wine sauce over white rice. We will be serving vanilla ice cream for dessert.