I’ll fucking say it. I love Guy Fieri. I am fucking jealous of his life.

Have a blog, and ditto. I am not twenty-five, I do not have perfect skin, and I am not a makeup maestro. I absolutely edit photos to fix contrast/saturation/color issues (I kinda have to, because I’m also not a photography maestro), and I will absolutely airbrush out a gnarly zit or take some of the red out of eyes…

Pro Tip for the first guy:

I read everything you just wrote, and have concluded that you made all of that up as there is no way those are real people.

Yes, provided that we also get beef milk.

It’s not like I’m dancing on the girl’s grave, but by 15, you have to take some personal responsibility.  I ALSO understand how a mother who lost a child would rather take up a (perfectly fine) crusade rather than think “man, Madysyn sure fucked up”.

Yeah, I’m with you here. If you have a deadly allergy to something, by 15 you sure as shit better be checking every packaged food you eat, especially when you are at a friend’s house where they aren’t allergic to that thing. I get that with the top open and taped back you can’t see the Reese’s label but its also very…

Papa John’s has evicted Papa John.

Please don’t make me explain the joke.

Arby’s: we have the meats. we also have poop covered lettuce

Nah, she’s not among us. After they went back to that Wal Mart, one of the managers there mistook her for an employee and asked why she wasnt at her register. She dutifully donned her apron and set to work, and she’s been at that register ever since

Prove the video isn’t a fake, made by Big Spitburger to discredit this very mature police officer, who clearly isn’t a weird paranoiac!

Looks like we now know what was going on during those missing four weeks.

But, like, what do you think is gonna happen? Some big company is gonna hoover up all the rental car data? Some other renter is gonna reverse engineer where your mom lives from her name and number and go murder her? What’s the actual fear here? 

Who the fuck keeps pulling you out of the greys, troll?

Replace the mint with tapatio in the winter to feel warmer

I didn’t realize Nintendo was releasing Zelda BoTW, Mario Odyssey, and Smash on Android...

This is a genius idea. “Give me two 2-way adult tickets to France, and two 1-way child tickets to Zimbabwe”. : P

Parents on one flight, kids on the other?

It’s the massive dividing line between me and the youths. I’m still way into dumb blockbusters, way into new music, new TV shows, I gobble all that shit up. But the concept of watching someone else play video games, and saying really dumb forced shit, for multiple videos and hours of runtime, is jaw-droppingly…