I fought Tie Domi in a bar once

I’ll go with Chris Kreider, just because he actually plays in a conference that features top goaltenders. Quantity over quality, yo.

Thanks, Barry! Your prediction does nothing to to force me to confront the cold hard fact that I cheer for a hockey team that is the perennial recipient of high praise but that is consistently unable to perform in a way that meets the expectations thereby created. Good thing I can forget all that tomorrow night as I…

time to wrap an eel around my neck and fill my living room with sand because I ........ THINK ........THAT’S ........WHAT .........HOCKEY’S ........ALLL .........ABOUT!!!!!

I think Team North America would take it. Can we have them join up again?

Normally I am not a fan of reboots but this new version of Twins seems pretty promising.

Husky and Starch

The first episode comes out tomorrow right here on Deadspin and you’re going to love it.

Short-form Foodspin trailer

We are talking about Sabres fans. More likely *Jumps through table at Bill’s tailgate, self-immolates.*

If you need someone to tell you the NHL is starting, than you’re probably not much of a hockey fan, which is fine.

*takes shot of Wild Turkey 101*

Gotta admit, I was kinda hoping this username wouldn’t be relevant again for a long time.

SO THE CAPTAIN OF TEAM CANADA GETS MYSTERIOUSLY KNOCKED OUT THE DAY AFTER OBAMA MOCKS OUR NATION DURING HIS VISIT TO THE WHITE HOUSE

Hmmm, who could possibly be to blame?

Twice, in the past 3 days, I’ve had people tell me “It was an inside job!”

I hate myself for it, but I can’t be the only asshole that thought of a butt joke with that headline.

Please clap

“The chocolate fountain was destroyed.”

I long for the days when clowns didn’t bother anyone until 26 bodies were found in a crawlspace.