Congratulations to Nate, who will receive a leftover Deadspin Awards trophy and the chance to face Deadspin staffers in daily fantasy.

He may be a T-1000 but apparently Skynet’s budget ran out when they got to the face. Dude is UGLY.

If they do, I hope they play “O Canada”, it’s a much much better anthem than what Francis Scott Key came up with as a prisoner of war. I like people that weren’t captured. Believe me.

This is why I’m hoping for a Team NA/Team Europe final. That and it would probably be the most entertaining game.

And if the Team North America wins it all, just imagine the pride-filled, flag-draped victory celebrations and, after the emotional medal ceremony, the stirring national anth…wait…never mind…

Bummer, after all that hype.

That was my senior picture, and your cruel remarks hurt my feelings.

(Whispers) because it’s the clown thats standing behind you. (Giggles) if you turn around...he’ll get your nose (pulls out scissors) he loves to get noses.

Mitch McConnell with mutton chops.

I love this woman.

Now that we’re here I don’t know what to look forward to anymore. All I know is that this is the Best Blog in Baseball.

#GutsOutForHarambe

Are your son’s feelings getting hurt?

So which QB is Bruce Willis?

I can’t believe how far I read before I realized that might not be verbatim.

For those at work, I have the transcript:

If only Steve Jobs had loved chemo, we could ask him.

Remember kids: the first person Manning kissed after the Super Bowl was Papa Fucking John.

he’s a threat to the playing surface w that take