Can someone do the math and let me know how long it will take for every existing Tesla driver to snuff himself out?

So. Um. Given the last paragraph?
Maybe change the headline or first line to: Tesla owners are the worst drivers on the road, as they somehow make what Consumer Reports rated as the most safe car, into the least safe. I mean, I think that’s an interesting phenomena.
And much more interesting, finally, than the rest of…

I’m just here to drink the sweet tears of the Musky Boys.

Sounds like a good excuse to get a sidecar!

Even the blind despise those wheels.

...but a Porsche V8 that my Crosstrek could almost compete against going 0-60?

For the 47th time, just because you know how to use Google and found a better deal, doesn’t mean that the one featured above still isn’t a good deal itself. NP.

NP, but TBH, I do not see the chrome wheels as a plus. 

I’m not sure, Trump passing away would make anything better.

True, they don’t want the tap of government money to get turned off. Always a good idea to diversify your portfolio- especially if your portfolio mainly consists of a finite resource.  Having the government subsidize you diversifying?  Even better.

The human race is definitely headed for extinction. Voters confirmed last week that they want the process to speed up.

The oil companies already get billions (trillions by now in total) in subsidies from the Fed and state governments. Oil depletion allowance for one.

All true. What I also got out of his statement is “it would be real real cool if the government gave us money to invest in renewables because even though we have a LOT of fucking money, and we’re going to invest in them anyway because that’s how we’re going to stay viable in 40 years, we really like it when the…

Chaotic, deregulatory presidency scaring oil company execs was not on my bingo card for the next 4 years.

I’d sell asparagus

You know what CEO’s and by proxy, stockbrokers enjoy? Stability. Having laws, mandates, and policies stay consistent allows you to more accurately predict cash layouts for large projects. Doing a complete 180 every 4 years makes it really hard to figure out where to spend money on long term investments.  You don’t…

That grave is going to piss-soaked immediately and for decades. Ya love to see it.

That’s going to be one soggy patch of brown grass, I can assure you. There will be a 24/7 line of people waiting, and I’ll be on the side selling bottled water. 

this car takes just an additional tenth of a second to hit 60 compared to the ferrari V12 GT of the time. 6.8 seconds was fast for the 80s.

To be fair, they are the answer to “How do we get where we’re going, but, like, more awesomely”