I wonder, though, whether cutting the bagel crosswise as shown in the lead photo would allow a proper bagel to function in sandwich mode, such that you take a bite without squishing the contents out of the bagel?

I roll my own before I go to Taco Bell.

Rum ham > ham nog 

Dave Attell refs always get a star.

+1

Thank you for this.

This bit he offered was laughable, as well:

Don’t take it from me. Argue with JKLA about the waste of time that is flavored, wet brining.

Such absurd hyperbole!

Wet brining is a pain in the ass. Salt that thing two days in advance & call it good. Have a side of pickles and enjoy the time you didn’t waste fucking around with a damp bird & gallons of salmonella brine.

Misusing a knife is dangerous!

Kinda weird that you’d go to work for them less than a year later.

Surprisingly, America’s Test Kitchen has Tostitos ranked as its top tortilla chip. That’s absolutely insane, if you ask me.

Who’s got two thumbs & hates shrimp?

Thanks for taking care of that.

There’s some trash in the greys that you might want to take out, Dennis.

I think the Root takes the prize for quickest descent into abject trash - they completely collapsed. There was no gradual decline, it was nearly as abrupt as the mass quit at Deadspin.

For that authentic matinee experience! 

Here’s your shit sandwich:

Some of those chunks must be cheese, not fruit, if that has a place on a Wisconsin table.