Why would you wish Nebraska on anyone?

Nah, it’s a frugal-person thing. Generational, maybe? My extremely white New England/northeastern US family all have an excess of twist ties in at least one of the kitchen drawers & cabinets (and in the garages, and the basements, and probably in the barns too).

Don’t quit your day job, unless it’s writing.

I’m glad you didn’t have kids, too. 

Wait, are you still expecting anything resembling accuracy (never mind actual journalism) from most of the clowns employed here?

Pennsylvania & Connecticut peaches are excellent right now, at least when they reach southern Vermont. (I’d give the edge to the PA fruit.)

The writers here fuck that up on a regular basis too.

They don’t, but some commenters enjoy the taste of boot leather. 

How else have you calcified?

This stuff is damn near magic:

No-stir versions usually have palm or similar oils added. I don’t really fuck with creamy pb aside from sauces.

And the palate, too.

If you’re willing to use Amazon, Santa Cruz is available. And they’re big enough that any major grocery chains (IRL or online) you frequent probably carry it, or can get it.

I’ve never seen that one - has it been around for a while?

Great username/comment synergy. I’ll give that combo a shot.

Don’t squirrels usually hide their nuts?

higher than giraffe balls

A classic!

Are you always incredibly drunk when you post?

Those critters = free extra toppings, whether you want them or not