I mourned the loss of Foodspin most of all when Spanfeller the herb murdered Deadspin.

That sounds absolutely terrible, like he’s making beef mush.

Yep. I’m not wasting a *good* bottle on mulling. 

“carbonation is used to keep the beer both sweet and dry”

That cheap Trader Joe’s house brand @ $3.99/bottle is my go to cooking wine. Should work just fine here, too. 

That’s one way of telling us that you didn’t bother reading the whole post.

Yes

As an alternative to bitters (a great suggestion, don’t get me wrong!), it’s hard to miss with a float of raspberry lambic atop your mimosa. Tart-on-tart works. 

He’s changed his name a few times, but the lameness is unmistakable.

Hopefully you weren’t the one responsible for ungreying it. 

He’s always frothy, it’s his pointless shtick. 

FAT Brands? Props for honesty in naming. 

5 slices? He just wasn’t that hungry. 

Real maple syrup mixed in is excellent.

Alright alright alright

How long does it take you to go through a dozen eggs?

What a fragile piece of shit you are!

Doug’s is a voice best suited to silent film.