Aren’t all of his takes abysmal? I’m not aware of any good ones. 

“she still loved me despite the fact that no one’s ever spoken to her that way”

Yeah, he knows.

You know that will never happen, because those people are disingenuous morons.

“while it’s not quite Mr. Holland’s Opus, for a minute-long commercial, it’s an excellent bit of short-form storytelling”

Seems like a waste of perfectly good fish.

Get the flock outta here with your fowl puns!

So what should we throw at him?

Hootscow?

Discounted camo-print Crocs are a must-have in the duck blind!

Hey pal

If that’s true, they wouldn’t be open. Hunters & fishermen would be pursuing their chosen quarry that day, not shopping.

Because this “writer” is the single biggest fucking hack across the entire J/O Media family of sites.

TIL the CR-Z was available with three pedals.

Like I need another reason to avoid Arizona. 

Now I have a lot more questions 

Congee, pho, or oatmeal chowder?

That’s why you use a garbage gmail account for shit like that. 

You’re only *now* discovering that Kinja can no longer handle working links in the comment section? 

This is a list of *worst* states for drunk driving, not most accomplished.