Jesus relax. I promise you there won’t be a nuclear holocaust in the next 4-8 years. If I’m wrong I’ll pay you a million dollars. Or if you prefer, 41,000 bottles of Crown Royal.

I’m pretty sure he was talking about when they were starting out with the F2P model that the console devs were like “that won’t work”.

So he’s giving an example of how they were able to prove it worked by not having consoles in the way. Basically saying “Fuck consoles cause they’re closed minded twits”

Wait, Valve? What games?

Also not widely known - the rumble strips at the sides of motorways are to let blind drivers know what road they’re on and what junction’s coming up...

Reminds me of this classic:

I know the point is satirical but come on. This goes too far!

My wife refuses to say his name and will only refer to him as Twitler.

*45 is absolute genius I plan on stealing for my columns from now on

Well that gives new meaning to the term “pocket pussy.” Hurrrrrrrrr.

A con artist, a fascist, a rapist, and a KGB agent walk into a bar. Bartender says, “What’ll it be, Mr. President?”

My most fervent wish right now is to get Trump’s tax returns by accident, and let Jezebel leak them as payback. for Theil destroying my precious Gawker.

Okay, while we are talking about Elijah Wood doing a detective show, you need to see Dirk Gently Holistic Detective. You will thank me later.

Why I am marching today (See you soon, NYC!):

Spencer did nazi that coming....

he decided to go for a walk in the woods near his hotel to kill time.

Is there “Teenagers in a slasher film” settings for the guards? I would love to have a guard say “I’ll be right back” before leaving the group in a well lit area... also possibly wearing high heels in the middle of the woods.

He’s been granted eyes on the inside... although no one remembers what that truly entails.

That’s an easy lie to spot because it came from the mouth of someone representing Trump