Are there any other old guys who watch significantly less (or no) football than they used to because of injuries? I used to watch all the time and barely watched more than a handful of quarters last year. I just really found it harder to stomach as I’ve gotten older. I think about the injuries I’ve seen in just recent…

Well, if you want to get super-pedantic, he went on an insane rampage, was apprehended, and then masturbated, so the rampage itself was not masturbatory at all according to the reports.

In a future dependent on punch card computing ...

"Candidates may NOT pass out candy, treats, buttons or gifts to persuade or bribe students to vote for them. Bribing will result in disqualification."

If being bald and unable to put on muscle meant you had cancer, the Hasselbeck brothers would've died 15 years ago.

Don't be fooled, sheeple. Snopes isn't even on Snopes, so how credible could it really be?

But was Mike Carp the first choice to play Woogie?

So... what you're saying is: success doesn't depend on who you replace Drew Bledsoe with, just replace him.

Brett Favre gave tips on the zipper scene, his services was greatly appreciated.

It's fun to watch a guy who makes over $400,000 year off the play of his school's unpaid athletes try to stake out the moral high ground.

In 2008 when Barack Obama was elected and Dems controlled both houses, making Election Day a holiday is EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE.

Seriously, the Lakers have not been this entertaining since the Shaq years. The Twilight of Kobe is like Kurtz waiting at the end of the Nung River. Carlos Boozer is the water buffalo.

I have a dear friend who was pretty deeply depressed and, I suppose, fairly aimless. Then his wife had an affair and they're getting divorced, and he's, like, super galvanized by it all! The depression is gone completely, he's back to being hilarious and vital, he's got energy, and even a little pizzazz.

As a Sixers fan I feel like a cancer kid about to get my Make-A-Wish when suddenly the Lakers mainline cesium so they can meet John Cena.

The Bible.

(or maybe just a passionate facebook discussion of this article with some of your candy-corn-hating minions)

No way, I checked.

"Broncos? OJ drove a White Bronco. If you are a Broncos fan, you support wife killers." - Jay Schoeder

Sexy Puffed Wheat

Because it's basically the same as a cup of coffee and a lot of these stupid places don't make fucking coffee for us coffee drinkers that don't drink that fufu shit.

Personally, I like americanos, but I can understand the critique. I will say, however, I think your ratio is off - its more like 4 shots of espresso and 10 oz of water. Otherwise, carry on.