You get the celebrities you deserve.

Fun fact: all unicycles are AWD.

I would think it would quite difficult to commit an assault on someone far away.  Being really close is a prereq to land punches, no?  

a contract worker who was part of a team hired to clean around the 400 level tried to break his concentration.

Duck Boats, efficiently named as both conveyance and safety precaution for occupants. 

Counterpoint: It is possible to have fun even as an adult.

If you think the way they got Manny Machado to fit into a Yankees uniform is disturbing you should see how they get one to fit on CC Sabathia.

Punk is all about posing. If it wasn’t, they wouldn’t give a shit.

Heh - you sound like 16 year old me in high school lamenting “posers”. Lighten up, there’s no purity test that allows people to listen to certain music or dress a certain way. 

Uncut Jalen Ramsey

I wouldn't say Splinter supports progressivism in any real way, not unless you're working off a student Union definition.

+1 (under the table)

When Joe Smith’s secret new contract finally kicks in that’ll fix all of this

“I’m not going to kill you. I’m just going to make you need the bathroom really, really bad.”

We’re expanding the definition of “Nazi” to include the desire to have an actual quote match what is claimed about the quote

There is nothing “moderate” about the liberalism inherent in the overwhelmingly-vast majority of modern-day A.V. Club articles. Frankly, I question whether or not you were actually on this website back in 2008 (or, well, at any time prior to 2015) if you can’t recognize the palpable “shift” in tone.

Also there is the headline:

“They don’t do colleges because their fees are too high for colleges to afford.”