If the Cardinals continue to play like this we’ll have to stickum near the bottom of the division.

Define what you mean by “play”.

There was light incidental contact to the face and she grabbed her throat like she’d been throttled. That was some soccer-level shit.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

“God Watches Tim Tebow Plate Appearance; God Denies Tim Tebow Three Times”

This is a solid headline right here.

I had no idea someone could struggle that badly to act natural while giving a thumbs up. It’s like that is the most strenuous activity his hand has ever performed and he’s grimacing in pain.

Had no idea either, but assumed it was Overwatch as no game title was mentioned. It’s the default game topic, so unless you see any other title or image from another game just always assume Overwatch.

Man I’m out of touch lol.

Amusingly, they’d be playing in the next season’s Champions League from the Championship in that scenario.

Don’t be a dildo.

Firewater (reportedly), claims another Redskin.

Jesus Christ.

Of course, in that (purely hypothetical!) case, this performance would reveal our (purely hypothetical!) celebrity to be an extremely gross phony.

And yet, he wasn’t suspended for threatening a female student. What a great message for International Women’s Day. You officially have less worth than an unattended vehicle.

Look, I only have enough schadenfreude to hate the public financing bill, or Bettman. You can’t provide us with an embarrassment of embarrassments like this. We need time to process.

At some point, you have to [air horn] distractions to [booming PA announcer hype man voice] and [Jock Jams cut] and [instructions to make some noise] kick in the nuts.

Wow, stomping on a guy when he’s down—that Mings is merciless.

As long as you can get American soldiers killed, you will always have defenders, because there will always be people who think saying that American soldiers were sent somewhere to die for no good reason is more offensive than sending American soldiers somewhere to die for no good reason.