This Christmas, be sure to ask Santa for a sense of proportion.

But unfortunately, if I try to sleep with a bun in my hair, I will 100% wake up with pain in my neck.

But unfortunately, if I try to sleep with a bun in my hair, I will 100% wake up with pain in my neck.

Mine is an obscure dish absolutely overflowing with the history and culture of my people. Its complex yet immediately identifiable melange of traditional, locally available foods takes me right back to my roots.

You should never experience any doubt about its authenticity, either.

Big dick...small mind. That’s all you need to know.

Dear stupid fucking idiots,

Ain’t no AI yet. None.

I know it’s almost the opposite of a hack, but I grind up the rinds from my nice parmesan to make fake greentubecheese when I really need that pasta shells and GTC comfort food (made with better butter and more pepper, but still...)

Angry linguistic conservative here, and I’m fine with this.

“The definition of rape is any sexual encounter that’s unwanted or nonconsensual,”

It’s an everybody thing, and it’s this: acting like you’re in some kind of fucking bubble where your actions have no consequences.

No, it’s because JFK was shot.

cooning for cash.

when the hell was America ever great for our black asses?

Conscience.

Jesus, what a fucking idiotic take. Come back in twenty years after you’ve learned something.

Your understanding of constitutional monarchy is abysmal.

Don’t let people feel comfortable in shoes, just make their feet numb!

Some friends owned a gourmet food store back in the 80s, and they ever so nicely gave me a bunch of huge chanterelles to take home and eat.

If any of this is your actual opinion, you are a goddam idiot.