Although the joke should have been “Thanks, Open Table, but I couldn’t have more reservations about my father if I tried.”

1. Mitt Romney’s dad sure was knee deep in a lot of ish.

Meet Carmen Dell’Orefice: 82 year old model extraordinare!

I loved Betty White’s take on this. She has said that she got an eyelid lift while in her ‘60's, partly for cosmetic reasons and partly for functional reasons, and then she just stopped. “It’s good that people can still see my eyes, but other than that, what’s the point?”

This requires a visit from classic Doris Day...

There is a family of groundhogs living under my house (mama+four groundlings.) They are smart and curious and adorable. And they are going to eat everything that I care about. Fuck it.

Name them after his parents... and tell them you want them to sleep in the bed with you.

HIDE THEM FROM THE TRUMP MEN!!! Otherwise, Donnie Jr. will be walking around with a giraffe tail in hand and his nasty fur-wearing wife will be wearing a brown spotted coat soon. They are murderers.

These women - Lili Bernard, Jewel Allison - they are fucking warriors. They are the ones we need to teach our sons and daughters about. The courage, compassion, strength and LOVE of these women in the face of such disgusting injustice and disrespect will be something I’ll never forget.

Here she is looking real hysterical at the hearing

I watched this commentary live while I was working out at the gym, and it was infuriating. I wanted Powers to go IN on Miller, but she really held herself back. Probably because he would have called her “hysterical” too. I watched that hearing and goddamit Harris was freaking cool as a cucumber. She held Sessions’…

My “favorite” case of the Hollywood paygap had to be the fact that CHARLIZE FREAKING THERON got paid less than Chris Helmsworth for Snow White and the Huntsmen. Charlize Theron. Who was basically the only good part of that whole mess. Who has a fucking Oscar.

“If she didn’t want to have sex with him, then why was she taking tequila shots and why did she go home with him? Do we even know what she was wearing? Surely we’re not going to ruin this fine young man’s life over 20 minutes of action, are we?”

I am so tired of this idiotic “most violence affecting the black community comes from black community” non-argument from disingenuous racists. The vast majority of ALL violence is intra-racial; that statistic is utterly meaningless because it applies to virtually everyone, everywhere. Most violence affecting the white…

*reads article, sees list of pretty shitty/racist things said by critic*

I have a confession to make:

The comparison I always like is if pence was a bus driver I probably wouldn’t enjoy being in the bus, wouldn’t like where it was going, and would hope he would eventually be replaced, but alsomwould be confident he wouldn’t drive the bus into a building to run over someone who said he had small hands

I just think of it this way. Everything Pence does can be reversed in 4 years, but weapons grade Uranium has a half-life of 4 billion years.

It’s funny that everyone forgot who Pence was, or how he ended up on the Trump ticket in the first place. He ended up on the Trump ticket, because he was basically about to have his ass ran out of Indiana for doing such a shitty job.