I would not have anticipated that I’d love a red latex baby doll dress. And yet, here we are, in adoration.

He ran into my knife TEN TIMES!

Seriously, where did they get the FEMA tents? Can you just buy used tents on ebay? If so, I would love to get one. You know, for when the in-laws come to town...

At my Houston high school, when I was a sophomore, two self-avowed Nazi students beat a Latinx student into a coma (for the full details, read about it here). These were kids who wore Nazi clothing, had Nazi articles on campus, were known Nazis. It just happened, the same way confederate flag t-shirts happened and…

So when are we going to ban white guys? Or husbands??

Brag/accomplishment thread! My brag is I’M DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL!!! I submitted the last of my coursework today! So to celebrate I made a peach-blueberry pie with tons of crumble on top and I’m having the most amazing burger rn. I put TWO slices of cheese on it because fuck it. Lots of wine. Brag here everyone! Let’s…

A few days ago I mentioned I was making a poster to motivate myself to study for the bar. Well guess what?

That’s not how any of this works....

Honestly, I want more people on the spectrum to speak up and be like, “Fuck you, we’re awesome people, stop referring to autism like we’re deficient losers. AND GET VACCINATED.” If vaccinating my kid had a chance of making my kid deaf, I’d still do it, because a) yay, living kid and b) being deaf is also not the end…

I thought Catholics were all about the trinity.

Well it’s clearly not ‘say yes to the bra.’

Wait, you mean the Catholic church isn’t this flexible, morphing, hang-loose kinda religion? Then what the fuck were all those guitar masses all about in the 70s?!?

A carpenter who rides for your sins.

My mother calls her dogs “doggos”.

It’s true - I’ve tested it. On second thought, I should do further testing.

A free trip to Anchorage? ANCHORAGE?! All my dreams have come true!

Then after their exciting trip and spa-day abortion, it’s off to celebrate with lobster and champagne brought with food stamps before hitting the town in their Caddy with free Obama cellphones to smoke the crackweed and get knocked up again.