...judge, judge, judge, judge, judge

Judges gonna judge.

No blood No victory

what in the hell are you talking about?? Wash your crock pot!!

Either your crock pot has rotted or you don’t know how to cook, because crock pots are the shit.

I assume we can look forward to Penn State erecting a statue in honor of Simon soon.

Guess that’s the Enzo of his career. No Amore wrestling for him.

that’s not what they (and we) are saying, though. they’re NOT giving men like james franco and aziz and louis c.k. a pass because they’re not weinstein.

So true. Harvey himself kept his unprovoked assaults private.

Years ago, I had a coworker who nick named this one guy in the office Sandy because, when ever he tried making a pass at her, he made her dry up like a desert.

Who would have thought that being an Onion Headline Writer would become one of the most difficult jobs in the world in 2017.

Trump: /gets confirmation that it was, in fact, at least 7,000 Big Macs ago

“I have no memory of that, that was at least 7,000 Big Macs ago”

When I go skating, the only badonkadonk you’ll notice is the sound of my head hitting the ice.

-dry heat guy

Bikram Choudhury is the Harvey Weinstein of Martin Shkrelis

The John McCain version is an all-timer.

There are a few recurrent jokes on this website that I love.

between Sephora and Usher, herpes is having a real break out moment.

I’d like Mueller to go to Jared.