They are when it’s 2 am on your way to the bathroom and you step on a lego. That much I know.

*chef’s kiss*

I thought Tom was being pretty tame until the end... shots fired!

Fridays are for the Lawyers. 

A Magary is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he gets out of intensive care.

I predict good things for this awful, awful comment. Well done.

That’s straight-up Roger Rabbit Dip.

I think the persecution of teens like this is really getting out of hand. Between the Covington students and this it’s starting to look like the only place for teenagers to be racist is every single comment section on the internet, the entirety of social media and whenever you play any video game online. 

Imagine getting an invite to the White House and being served the same food you can get delivered to your dorm.

Better luck next time, Briny Caca.

Thoughts and prayers for the Megadoodoo family.

I was hoping someone would bring this up! I hate that family too, but damn, that Burneko story killed me. 

I assume Nicki used #ArnoldPalmer because this story is only half tea.

I remember that!

If you want Ernest, go to the source:

I have a friend who insists on defending the Dad Asshole who spawned that nightmare video, EVERY TIME anyone says anything about them. Which is never anymore, so phew.

Sounds like someone stopped by American Coney Island while he was in town.

Nurse: Oh my God! Come look at this Red skin!