It's like a normal investigation, just sexier.

A few things:

"What should we say?"
"Drugs...go with drugs"
"What? Are you crazy...we can't say she is a junkie..."
"Ok - let's go with Pot...no one cares about pot."
"Does it do that to people?"
pulls out 1982 anti-drugs campaign videos

Fool. It was born in fire.

Just preparing for that remake of "The Witches" we've all been patiently waiting for.

WHAT ABOUT THE POOR DOG THEY DON'T LOVE?

I haz a sad.

Wake me up when Big Ang writes a sexy book.

"Same damn mind/Same damn eyes/Probably gonna end up with the same damn wife" So… What is the triplet version of twincest?

Please tell him that what he's doing is amazing. Also tell him GO GREEN! And that I sent his fundraising page to literally every single person I know. Friends, family, coworkers and clients.

I love my alma mater and I love Adreian Payne and SNIFF.

Just put on my makeup for work and now you guys ruined my eyeliner. Fuck you very much. Sadness. she is so adorable.

For some reason they're my favorite basketball team even though I didn't go there. I went to a division III school and it's pointless to cheer for my hometown team Minnesota, so why not? Izzo is a great coach and seems to have a knack for recruiting players who aren't egomaniacal assholes.

Go WHITE (And go Lacey!)

I am SO, SO happy you guys posted this story. I went to MSU, so this one hits close to home. AP is such a special player, student and all around human being. No matter how many times I read this story, it brings tears to my eyes. GO GREEN AND GO LACEY!

"She calls me her 'Superman,' but she's the one who's got the super strength," Payne told the Free Press. "

Just to be clear, this movie is John Tucker Must Die for adults, right?

"Two messed up eyes are better than one perfect eye" Totally my makeup mantra.

"But I spent $40 on it, so I use it to validate the purchase."

YUP.

I agree. This gave me the best laugh I have had in ages.