A man working alone with two women? He does not approve.

“Every story deserves a happy ending.”

You make the citizens arrest, and I will start whomping people! I am on your team- the correct team- on this.

Now now, we all know Lakers, Yankees, Cardinals, Steelers and Canadian hockey fans are among the chillest groups in sports.

I recently watched Christine for the first time and I was hoping to see it on here. I’ve never been a particularly huge King fan but that movie in particular seems to really capture what I’ve enjoyed about his work. There’s a kind of absurdity to it, but presented with a very straight face and attention to character…

I enjoy his work, but I feel like King has no room to talk when it comes to endings in general.

A knitting circle broke out at the one I attended. And we’re Patriots fans. 

“Brenda, this party is really dying. UNLEASH THE KITTENS!!!”

Strategic kitten reserves are a staple of any good party.

The Super Bowl was so boring that people at the party didn't even stop talking through the commercials. The hosts had locked away their kittens but let them out at halftime to entertain us because the game sure wasn't getting the job done. 

Geriatric vampires?

Do people find this sort of thing inspiring? Just rest and recover you fucking lunatic, you are not that indispensable, nor is telling a bunch of guys chasing a ball around what to do worth it.

Doesn’t matter how old the sender is.

A.) But they literally discussed child porn on College Gameday. That’s the very thing that they’re talking about. This argument makes no sense. Is it too early to discuss sensitive issues? Definitely, don’t turn on the 6 a.m. news then.

Lana Del Rey sings pretty explicitly about sex. It would still look weird to see a male journalist go “how do you like to fuck, though?”

I don’t have a horse in this race, but from my experience New Orleans is a waaaaay better place to spend a weekend. Atlanta is like most other U.S. cities: some buildings, traffic, and an airport. That’s about it.

Hey, man, I’d take irritated vacuum Zach over that insane person fangirling all over Maddox at his university in Seoul any day of the week. 

Hell, they’re arguably the 8th most relevant fanbase in the LOS ANGELES METRO behind the Clippers and Ducks.

“Becoming A Less Relevant Franchise Than Tennessee and Jacksonville: A How To Guide: by Dean Spanos.” Coming to a bookstore near you.

not going to say we should burn down mar-a-lago but not not saying we should burn down mar-a-lago....