“Depends. Is she pregnant?”

You think that fucker gets shit (“dirty looks”) for wearing a Texans NFL-brand jersey celebrating the slack-witted racist-in-chief? He gets random high fives every block.

This guy was the superintendent for Onalaska, TX, which is about 100 miles from the Houston Texans Stadium. I understand it’s closest NFL franchise is Houston, but my point is rather...this guy is East Texas and that shit still flies is East Texas.

Houston is a surprisingly pretty city, with a cool arts center, a robust tech background, extremely fun bars, and a burgeoning food scene with one of the greatest items I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.

Except they should be called the Houston Humidity

That kind of wins right? I mean the rest of us can shut it down. 

Or when the queen gave medals to the soldiers that murdered unarmed civilians at close range in the Derry Massacre. 

I love opening ceremony but that is a terrible color.

i believe she spells it ‘b r a n d i’.

It is ugly as sin. But my experience with Skechers (as a retail worker who spends the entire day running around on my feet) is that they are crazy comfortable. The first pair I bought was like walking on clouds. I must therefore stand up in/ for these fugly shoes.

Best swimming stroke? Hopefully the stroke Mitch McConnell suffers in the deepest part of the pool.

Ashley Reese, 10 years from now as you look back upon your career,
If you still have a career, you will look at the headline of this blog post
and say....
‘OMG! What Was I Thinking?’

As an old person, who has never heard of this rapper, the difference to me as far as comparing fame and impact with the Beatles is that even old people in the early sixties knew about the Beatles, whether they cared or not. And that was in an era of very limited media in comparison to now. My grandmother never spoke…

“-Randy and Tammy, MAGA turds from the northern suburbs who have a pickup truck value that exceeds their home value and took money out of Braedyn and Kymlynn’s college fund to renew their season tickets but “aren’t sure” if they’re going to still support the NFL if players keep kneeling”

Came here for this.

Anyone who hasn’t seen “To Be Or Not To Be” needs to drop what they’re doing right now and watch it. It’s still hilarious and fucking brilliant. Even if you think you don’t like old movies, it’s seriously fucking brilliant. 

We had our third non-losing season in 20 years, added a couple offensive pieces, and now our idiot fans thinks the Browns are going to the fucking Super Bowl.

Well this came out of nowhere.

christ this would have traumatized many a child. Probably a good thing they didn’t do it, although it would have been metal as shit to have an Avengers: Mortal Kombat.