That said, I’ll be moving to Detroit very soon.

It’s Texas so everyone can just shoot the virus with their constitutionally mandated gun, right?

If you’ve got Rafael “Now I’m Italian” Cruz rooting for you, maybe it’s time to rethink your priorities?

This coming from a guy who shirks his job anyway. Irving like many ballers, loves the benefits; but not the sacrifice. I’m surprised a party boy like him isn’t FULL of viruses.

He’s a headache anyway, fuck him. 

Why would anyone go to Japan for Christmas? On December 25th all they do is eat a cake.

“Would you like to play a game?”

Also, Macaulay Culkin was cute. This kid looks like he fell out of the asshole tree and whacked every branch.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1000 times: The Rock is garbage and the complete lack of irony in him calling anyone else “fake” is hilarious. That’s almost Trump level projection.

In the opening scene, Joe Pesci’s Harry is in disguise as a cop to stake out which houses to rob and makes a stop in the McCallister house. I was always under the impression that Kevin didn’t call the cops because he thought the burglars were the cops. And that was why he disguised his voice and said his name was…

Spider-Man: No Way Home Sweet Far From Home Alabama Homecoming

It’s a similar problem to the original movie. Yeah Kevin stole that toothbrush but at worst the cops would given him a stern talking to.

You’re breaking into a bar... with a baby?

Can’t wait for the spinoff, Home Sweet Home Alabama Home, starring Reese Whiterspoon

I don’t think a kid could take on a mole woman with superhuman strength. I hear she's unbreakable. 

The premise worked a lot better 30 years ago.

Damn, Dave Chappelle got “cancelled” so hard somebody ELSE got suspended. 

We’ve clearly been severely underestimating what great actors all the people in this franchise are, able to so convincingly come off as unstoppable badasses when they’re actually a bunch of whining infants.

I don’t blame Will Ferrell for taking roles where he doesn’t have to style his hair anymore. Let that glorious fro free.