Several years ago, Brandon Marshall was fined for wearing green shoes for World Mental Health day. He responded by donating an equivalent amount of money to a mental health charity.

No part of me was surprised by this, and I don’t think any part of what I wrote reflected shock, but I can still think it’s an incredibly dumb decision.

So instead we should just allow unrestricted speeds on tiny and heavily traveled roads? Because that will only end well for all of us.

I’m not very often, but I think I’m gonna make an exception in this circumstance.

They were driving high and endangering other innocent motorists on the road, sure I’d rather they’d not be dead, but fuck ‘em. These are the kinds of people who wipe out other people’s families simply because they’re getting their own jollies off.

So the 21-year old with a 5-year old was being irresponsible? Get out of town.

Yes. Also, one in the ovaries to reduce the chances of your reproducing. Honestly, pushback has to start somewhere.

1) Someone once told me that your taste buds go off when you get older, which is why old people want everything scalding. I have no idea if this is true or not.

Upscale does not mean good, it just means it’s expensive and the decor looks fancy in a dim light.

I’m still staring at that one in horror.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.

“whom we all called Caramel Lady. ”

I thought the Once Upon a Time version of the Peter Pan tale, where Peter is the (spoiler!) villain was the best one. It has ruined all other versions of the story, for they all pale in comparison.

All these things and the comments are why I only run if I’m being chased by grizzly bears.

I love that TWO of the stories involve dousing something in ranch. It’s the lowest common denominator of salad dressings - a substance so vile that you must have no tastebuds left to feel that it’s good.

In the news a little while back there was a story on how Kids-these-days were soaking their tampons in vodka and then inserting them to get drunk!!

it’s always ranch with these people - as a related aside I absolutely hate it when people ask if I want ranch with my buffalo wings ... like wtf?!? buffalo wings are served with BLUE F-IN CHEESE ... heathen ranch eaters must die

I always preferred the “Gangs putting LSD on payphone handsets because they’re out to get you” thing.

Given that Halloween is coming up and all sorts of stupid lore about treats laced with tricks will soon full the media, here is a simple trick to detect illicit drugs in your confections: