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Peyton’s too busy making shitty commercials that make me long for Cheryl’s She-Shed. TV was a mistake.

Irony of course being that only guys like Schefter and Woj, who don’t need it, provide any real appeal to brands looking for shills.

I’m a millennial that thankfully isn’t as destitute as all the rest claim to be on Twitter, but it’s still a solid $200 for me, wife, and toddler to go to a ballgame between tickets, bullshit “convenience fees” online, parking, and food. Going to a game has become a once, maybe twice a year thing for our family,

Just get rid of interleague play. The best parts of baseball happen when clubs really hate eachother cause they play 40 times a year. I went to Pirates Reds this weekend. The stadium was packed to watch two terrible teams play. Why? Because the weather was perfect and these two teams have exciting games.

I’m not typically one to cast aspersions on people I don’t know, but if Dan Dakich’s family member is dealing with chronic work-related injuries, has earned $100 million in the last seven years, and has a degree in architectural design from Stanford, then he’s an idiot for continuing to show up every day at the steel

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

Unfortunately, research is showing us that Football is detrimental to your health even before you make a single dime. Like, High School early:

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

A plague tale is a rough one to get through. It’s ridiculous how much I’ve changed as a person since becoming an uncle, but stories where children are placed into danger have become like absurdly terrifying for me. I’ve gone from reading books like Stephen King’s It with ghoulish satisfaction as a teenager, to barely

Lol these old fucks gotta go. We need to be on some Logan’s Run shit. 

meanwhile someone can run you down with their car and only owe your minor children a million bucks to replace your value to them as a parent and provider

I have no take on the trials, their outcome, or the payouts.

Fuckin hell, I’m a mediocre middle-aged white man, where do I get in on this shit?

Pretty dickish comment dude.

I never had anything against him, dipshit. I’m not upset about him failing to become the second coming of Walter Payton so much as the fact that he’s fucking dead.

Cedric wanted to fight me in high school for drinking all of his beer at a party. I hopped the fence and ran away before he found me. I always rooted for him after that. What a senseless way to go for him and his passenger. Watch out for bikes dammit. 

One slight error in the story. The location it happened, RM 2222 at the 5600 block of Mount Bonnell Road, is in west Austin, not east. That it happened there doesn’t surprise me. It’s a fun road to drive because of the turns on it but it’s also very dangerous because of the ups and down and turns. I HATE pulling out

Other things you can do in college but not the pros:

Larry Fitzgerald, postgame