Clearly, there are no improv classes in the Star Wars galaxy.

This will always be the gold standard of Star Wars hilarity:

jeebus, glad i wasn’t the only one.

The strangest Volvo ad I’ve ever seen.

They really should have just splurged on the Ultimate edition, which gives a nice gentle 50k volt zap after 3 mins of continuous licking.

They need the boxing glove attachment.

I have a feeling it was something far more powerful than alcohol. 

This is what they get for going cheap and not getting the security system that taps someone’s head after a while.

Humanity’s rich fabric contains multitudes of threads. 

I will now try to invent “snot-bubble extreme diving”.

Yeah, but the lizard doesn’t have to go to a dive shop and get fills every time it wants to go diving.

Pathetic. I can stay underwater for over an hour with my SCUBA gear.

I’m blocking deadspin from my Google feed after this story. 

Just FYI, when I get back to my computer from the bus stop I’m gonna ban everyone who came here to defend this doofus. Thanks.

As the page loaded my eyes read this as

Oh No! Robots have human neck technology!

I hear ya. I’m in IT, so when I have to contact customer support for something, I try to be as clear and concise as I can, and scripted answers annoy me. The last support call I made was to find out if an extended warranty was available for the handheld gaming system I intend to give one of my grandchildren for xmas.…

but...

I think Google wants it to be a bezeller.