Spider-Man cosplayers will need a new tired joke.

Not Uncle Ben!

I figured this was a recipe for pigeon.

Is the Idiot Signal much like the Bat Signal, but a projection of a dunce cap instead of a cool bat silhouette?

Predictable conservative red herring is predictable.

Aren’t all thermometers technically meat thermometers?

+1 for “rare”.

Definitely do NOT use orally once used rectally!

A hockey mask works too!

As of right now, there is not yet a run on beekeeper’s masks, for you face touchers out there.

I had the pogs once. Very nasty.

Just Nissans though. Every time I see somebody driving around in stealth mode... it’s a Nissan. 

I *regularly* see people driving around after dark with no headlights on. Not even DRLs, just nothing. How they manage to survive the day without choking to death on their own tongues, I have no idea. I try to give them a flick of my highbeams to remind them to turn on their lights, because apparently not being able…

The simplest answer is usually the correct one.

It’s a little black disc with some wires coming out of it.

Inside or on the window, there is no excuse or valid reason for this, period.