And FFS don’t do the CrossFit style butterfly kip, especially if you are over 30 or over 150lbs. That is absolutely the stupidest exercise move I have ever seen.

Look, I’m all for that seems simple on its face, because some of the most shit-talked pieces of art that you can think of are far more complex than most people appreciate.

Jackson Pollock’s drip paintings are based upon a type of repetitive mathematical pattern called fractals, to such an extent that they are some of t…

For the sake of not ruining a mild attempt at humor, we’ll just pretend like he spent a lot of money out of pocket.  Are you ok with that?

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

I know a lot of people are going to take satisfaction and glee from this because of Marchand’s previous actions. But keep in mind.... just kidding, fuck that guy.

Because American Pam is addicted to meth and in prison for shooting a black man.

I'm definitely going straight to hell. See y'all there!

all your monies are belong to us 

“Mr. Chairman, on the motion to remove the current Trustees we have a dozen ayes and one very loud neigh.”

When reached for comment, Pat Bowlen said “(he) can’t remember the last time the Broncos were this bad”.

If this happened in Germany, why did you lead with a picture of an Englishman?

I thought we agreed he beat off in the shower. 

Oh, it turns out the doctor was his mother, and the reason she couldn’t operate was she had puked and pissed on herself.

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

The Road to Hana is the single biggest waste of a vacation day. Terrifying blind single car bridge crossings(i think 57 of them), and the locals do not fucking want you there. There was nothing magical. There are some waterfalls and a few beaches, nothing overly spectacular. Most of the west coast is more beautiful.…

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Nothing will strike fear in the heart of a Semi Auto Rifle wielding baddy than wave after wave of teachers with souvenir giveaway baseball bats.

“Purely as a matter of tactics, I humbly suggest that for every five protesters you have four protest the police station and one stay home.”

I don’t think you understand how nerves work.

Samer is similar to the names Aliker, Identicaler, Matchinger, Duplicater, Carbon Copyer and Twiner. This shouldn’t be such a difficult question to answer.