I’m high and watching the video. It’s fucking great!

If he wins a championship ...contributes in a big way ...it very well is possible.

Get this guy some pickle brine and have him soak his left hand in that shit like Palmolive.

Preperation H does feel good on the hole.

I’m starting Daunte Culpepper on the Raiders vs the Dolphins in what is poised to be a “revenge” game. If anyone picked him up like I did that week in 2007 you are fantasy genius.

Either he has early onset CTE ...or he was hiiiiigh as fuck!

Man, I really thought this guy was guilty. I’d like to apologize to Ezekiel Elliot. Hey, maybe we can get together after the season and smoke a huge blunt.

I’m sorry ...who had a twitter beef with who???

Rick James would probably agree that this kid is probably ready at 17.

“He ain’t like Lil Wayne ...He just a ...football coach."

Scathing. Why do the most oppressive end up living the longest. Is that the key to longevity? In that case vote Trump! See you in 2042! Owwwwwww!

Is there any reason for #4 on Texas to be celebrating his attempt to seriously maim another person? I don’t give a shit if he was attempting to break up the play ...that push to the head after the hit was unnecessary. He knows what he was trying to do. My guess is that at some point during his college career he will…

I’m about to go on broat (yes, a broat, I have five of them ), bring my portable Coby DVD player, drink some Popov and store brand cranberry juice and watch Carol!

Fuck this guy til’ he comes out the closet, or someone catches him in the act.

Fuck Connecticut. Worst fucking drivers in the country!

Note to self: Do not ever kill a guy because the Deadspin community will never let you forget it.

That sucks. Really wanted to watch the postgame highlights of this kid playing because who the fuck actually watches Vikings games live. Maybe they can fit him with a robotic limb so he come back and play this season (takes another hit of synthetic weed).

New York I love you but you’re bringing me down.

Spirit became a spirit in no time flat. (Raises right eyebrow like The Rock in pleasure before publishing. Wonders how many before him have already written that. Knows it’s an underwhelming comment but decides to push the button anyway. Male over 30 in his bedroom awaiting Mother’s call for supper).

Dumb dumb Rodney has worked on NBC’s Sunday night football program for how many years now ...and he’s never heard or read about Kaepernick’s bio? I bet dumb dumb Rodney was trying to say that because Colin was raised by white parents he didn’t truly have the “black” experience ...he just didn’t have the balls to. I…