Leslie Jones should sit in as Trump. Doesn’t have to say a word. Just sit next to the comic and pout.

Like you said, you’re not American.

WHY THE MEDIA KEEP INTERVIEWING THAT WOMAN? STOP GIVING HER COVERAGE, DO NOT ASK HER ANYTHING, YOU ARE GIVING HER POWER.

#neverforget

Thank you for everything, Carrie. For your bravery and charm and your refusal to shut up or give up. For lifting the veil off mental illness. For refusing to be ashamed. And most of all for showing my daughter that being a princess isn’t just about finding a prince. You will be so missed.

Hillary didn’t fucking fail. She beat Trump by nearly three million votes.

But it feels like a long shot at best and sadly, nothing more.

I’m so proud of those people who felt maintaining their political purity was more important than a Trump-controlled Supreme Court.

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

The bulk of them never knew to begin with.

the pretty french lady made a joke that not only landed, it bored right through the center of the freakin’ earth.

I mean, that’s a pretty funny joke. And the exact kind of joke I’m sure he has made about himself in dozens if interviews. He was probably just no in a good place at the time, but come on, suck it up.

It’s clearly a conspiracy to prevent you from catching a movie and having beer. Ever though of doing it without the whole platoon?

I read that in the voice of Ron Swanson and it made me very happy.

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. Fuck street runners. “Oh the road is softer on my feet!” No, I hate you.

Some people have trouble separating sex from love and other people seem to have trouble separating emotional vulnerability with sex/love.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.