This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. Fuck street runners. “Oh the road is softer on my feet!” No, I hate you.

They made a short of Life After People? Why?

Come on man, this is like nitpicking Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

Some people have trouble separating sex from love and other people seem to have trouble separating emotional vulnerability with sex/love.

I like Inception very much, but it’s ending isn’t that special. It certainly provokes a question, but come on - a top ending of all time? Get real.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

I actually *asked* Santa for coal one year. For my rock collection.

I got it too, nice good samples. And now I’m a geologist/hydrologist.

Remember that time I kept getting told I had pneumonia and my back pain was “unrelated” and we don’t know what’s causing it, but take some Aleve we guess, and then I was diagnosed with STAGE IV CANCER? hahahahahahahafuckyoudoctors

I have a hard time believing that an artisanal, locally-sourced, hand-crafted, gluten-free, organic, bean-to-bar chocolate maker would misrepresent their product in this way.

I’m currently 33 and am completely independent save the $50 birthday check I get each year. At least I thought I was, until a few days ago when my father suggested kicking me off the family cell phone plan and I reacted as though he had asked me to sell my kidney.

she got punched in the face a bunch

Doctor’s also report that he was able to remember to “Pass it to Kobe.”

I want this to be so big that Disney will lock JJ Abrams down for the rest of his life and keep him the fuck away from Star Trek.

Going to Mars would be great, however if the NASA budget stays as limited as it is, tracking every single deadly asteroid out there seems like it should be our numero uno priority.

I figured it was a scar caused by the friction of the giant brass balls of the crew of the tanker dragging down the runway.

The mark on the runway isn’t from the f4, it’s a result of the pilot’s pants finally exploding.

Lil Wayne suffers from a seizure disorder (as well as opiate addiction) so I'm guessing that's what the med equip is for.