It’s nice that the Oregonian could just repurpose Kevin Duckworth’s obituary.

John Carpenter’s THE THING did that job for me. “You mean no matter what we do we just die and everything burns down?”

You probably just got confused by one of those things during the intermissions where they let the kids play. 

1-tool player, strong motor

I could’ve sworn I JUST FINISHED a story about how it was a terrible irresponsible decision and I deserved to be detained by the police for it.

related:

Peter Bondra

Sorry, I didn’t mean to convey any disrespect to the survivors of the actual Wrinkle in Time.

Maybe if mommy would have put the precious little crotchfruit down some time in the past 2 years it wouldn’t have attachment issues.

He’s quite concerned that the dog won’t be able to stand for the playing of the American national anthem.

Asshole didn’t replace his divot.

As a Mets fan, I prefer to think of this as the 10th anniversary of Endy Chavez’s catch. Also, fuck Aaron Heilman.

He should moderate the the next debate, and just give the Burke-Sager silent stare when anyone goes off topic.