MMMMMMMMMMMUURRRIIICAAAAA!!!!!!!

GRIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“See, the indians aren’t paying us a goddamned nickel. Go Redskins!”

As this is the Eagles, they’ll probably fall off the clock trying to pick Sam Bradford.

I don’t think this significantly changes Deadspin’s previous “AP is going to get 2000 carries this year” analysis.

Given the overall experience of NMS that I’ve had so far, I’m going to assume that the “damage when going through portals” issue is just a case of those vine-thingys spawning inside the portal model....

“Ninety nine out of a hundred times, a given person in sports or show business is really kind of a dick and you wouldn’t want to hang around them for very long.”

Hippo shortage.

I used to work for a former president after his term in office, in the correspondence department. So I had to go through the mail from time to time.

“My name is ‘Aubrey Solomon’, but for some reason the note was addressed to ‘Future Brain-Addled Cripple’...”

A thought:

I thought the caller was fake because it’s my understanding that the only creatures left living on the east banks of the Delaware are zombies and lizard people.

Physical editing like that is only used, AFAIK, for “gross” editing, like separating two entire things recorded on the same video reel. Video, unlike audio and film, records diagonally on the tape, so if you could see the recording, it would look like /////////////. It’s almost impossible to get a clean scene cut like…

This is why Modern Pentathlon is awesome.

If Tirico would just assault a woman, he’d be the starting left guard for the Cowboys by next Sunday.

If any track nerds are out there....

Is Univision going to give me my star back?

The NFLPA: When Roger Goodell Tries To Railroad You Into Discipline Because It Makes His Dick Hard To Do So, We’ll Be There To Support You With A VERY Strongly Worded Letter!

Dammit, you’re right.