How can anyone laugh when we all know Jim Tomsula has far more experience baking with actual tombstones than he does eating a Tombstone Pizza.

Here’s the thing Twitter needs to remember: yes, they will get lots of criticism when they ban Nazis, but the people criticizing them ARE NAZIS.

The dude broke five of his ribs and got charged with fourth degree misdemeanor assault? Seems fishy.

Every once in a while, a super cold glass of whole milk is crazy delicious and satisfying.

Your poor grasp of the English language makes me lean more in the direction of Russian troll rather than regular ol’ racist.

No, if you use dog whistle references to gun violence in Chicago to try to make your point, you’re a racist.

“Every once in a while, in the past, they underestimated us. It was not pleasant for them, was it? It was not pleasant.”

Are you a regular racist, or a Russian troll racist? These days you can’t quite be sure, hence my question.

“Ran into the path of the player” the way Joe Theismann’s leg ran into Lawrence Taylor.

Any guy who has to tell you he’s a feminist is trying to make everything about him, and is not a feminist.

A racist shitbag could do all those things and still be a racist shitbag, friendo.

Feels like that time I told Jon Hamm’s girlfriend that it was either him or me.

Probably don’t need to worry about Tom Hanks. Chet Haze, however...

Seriously!

You sound like someone who’s pissed that someone else just found out about his favorite band.

Can’t even pinch the sweet round can on the new gal in the office without every woman’s libber within a square mile trying to cut your goddam balls off!

I often wonder about the feasibility of some decapitation missile attack during one of their massive public rallies where Kim Jong Un and most high ranking members of the military are conveniently gathered in one obvious location. I mean, yes, I’m sure he has a certain number of allies stashed away in case just that…

I find your use of the reflexive “yourself” to be vulgar and pointless, when we all know “you” would have sufficed.

News flash: guys don’t just start doing this at age 93. There have been rumors about GHW Bush for YEARS. Some CNN reporter (I think Catherine Crier?) asked about one of his reported affairs at a news conference when he was President and got absolutely chewed out, in public, by the White House Press Secretary, sort of…

My wife has told me on more than one occasion that she’s caught some older man (usually >50) checking out our 10 year old daughter when we’re out at some public area. She always tells me when we’re home because she doesn’t want me to cause a scene. But there have been a number of times when it’s the grandfather of…