Yeah, I always love people who complain on one hand about their sig other wanting to track their other move, and then immediately talk about the other person they’ve got a crush on. It’s like someone telling you how their spouse is always nagging them about drinking and then they talk about the case of 1.5L bottles of…

LDRs only work, in my opinion (and I say this having been in several),when there is a defined, agreed upon, set in stone end point. Otherwise it’s the worst thing ever. The only one of mine that worked out (we got married, in fact) was when the “long distance” part was clearly temporary, and was something we knew…

“Why didn’t you interview the women I did NOT harass?”—Donald Trump

I don’t know, is it written with only illustrations?

Don’t forget ostentatiously wearing jerseys of obscure pre-championship players, as though somehow being on a losing team makes you a “real” [insert team here]. “OH, YOU LITTLE BITCHES HAVEN’T EVEN *HEARD* OF JEROME WALTON, HAVE YOU???”

He also pouted to the media when he wasn’t getting his 20-10 every night. I have no window into his soul, but I think the dude is petty, and a bad teammate. Remember his near-constant conflict with Roy over who was the team’s actual leader? Well, Brandon left, and the team went into the tank. Then as soon as Lillard…

Kate Beaton will rise to the occasion with a cutting and incisive cartoon about this.

Kash? Ryker? Jakin?

More like BetaFAIL, amirite?

Horse jawbone, for sure.

None of these movies are fun and I’m sick of them.

“CHICAGO THUG OBAMA FORCING ENLISTED MEN TO THROW GANG SIGNS IN ULTIMATE DISRESPECT TO OUR OLDEST ALLY GREAT BRITAIN.” —FoxNews

It’s not the weed, it’s that the kids *know* that the league has silly rules about weed, and they are still not smart enough to avoid it. If my employer has a rule that says anyone ever seen wearing orange is immediately fired, then, yeah, it’s a terrible rule, but I’m the idiot if I walk around posting videos of…

“No suspicious activity on this social media page!”

Dennis Hastert still free to visit and use the mens restroom, however.

And for those (like me) who don’t know this stuff automatically because the metric system is communist and wants to kill America and force us to join ISIS, there are 450g in a pound.

That’s exactly right. And the same thing is true about so many things. Grief, for example. I love it when people assess how someone they don’t know is handling personal loss/trauma. “She doesn’t LOOK like someone who just lost a child.” Well how the fuck do YOU know what she’s thinking or feeling? Most of us are…

I often wonder what people who don’t know me would conclude about my marriage if every little thing my wife and I did was printed in tabloids and online. “Dave J. and Mrs. Dave J. seemed REALLY ANNOYED with each other while eating pizza with their kids!” “Dave J. and Mrs. Dave J. left their house AND GOT INTO SEPARATE…

Yeah...I feel like this one the way I feel about any battle between a NFL player and the team’s owner. The athlete is being paid (well) to destroy his body and will have to make ends meet once he’s forced out of the league at an age when most people are just starting their careers. Meanwhile the owner is a billionaire…