“Touche.” —ISIS

“ A spokeswoman for Meltwater said the number provided by the group is “impressions” and counts anytime a person is exposed to a news story about the event, including social media posts.”

Hinkie has just acquired your grandparents for the top-50 protected rights to the Sixers’ 2023 2nd round pick.

So here’s something I don’t get—they had the ballboys’ phones, right? So wouldn’t the texts from Brady to the ballboys also be on those phones? Like, if you are trying to discover incriminating texts between Person A and Person B, and Person A gives you his phone, that’s enough. What am I missing here?

Ever priced braces?

There are many times when I regret the way that the viral effects of social media can turn the hordes of internet activists into a single hive mind dedicated to little more than destroying the life and career of someone who has offended them. This is not one of those times.

That’s not quite the argument. He was setting up a straw man of people who want to argue that baseball is sublime and an intellectual sport, and then using as his counterpoint the fact that baseball has many players—good ones, even—who come from a country with a shitty educational system.

Obvious solution is for Ikea to change the name from “Malm” to “Maim,” and then that way nobody can claim they weren’t aware of one potential outcome of their purchase.

You mean the Olympics might have to be content to award the honor to major, established cities/regions that have pre-existing venues and transportation networks capable of handling a temporary influx of thousands of athletes and spectators? OMG THE HORROR.

I wrote that down in my notebook.

Yeah, when all your friends tell you how horrified they were when they looked up Jimmy Fallon’s finger injury, tell them about penis degloving. It makes that finger surgery look like a day spent sniffing roses.

My vasectomy was painless, but during the procedure the surgeon told me all of these awesome stories about his most gruesome dick surgeries. (I asked him to.) Best one was a meth addict who got high and then put on a cock ring and then fell asleep for 18 hours with an erection. Long story short, the resulting…

“[Child goes to the bathroom, returns.]

The real shame is the way that media across the spectrum, from national/local TV, radio, websites (including Gizmodo) gave Amazon a shit ton of 100% free press and helped them move all this crap merchandise. Kind of boggles the mind that a multi billion dollar corporation gets free advertising everywhere while the…

Hopefully it’ll wind up closer to the Nexus 4/5 price point than the 6. I mean, I love the Nexus, but hell no am I dropping $600 on a new phone.

I’ve had a number of items in my cart for the past week, and when I went to look at them yesterday, ALL three had gone up in price over what they were prior to Prime Day. Dunno if that was merely a coincidence or if anyone else had a similar experience. Yes, I know prices on certain items (two of them were computer…

“Also, don’t listen to my music in your car. And if your wife keeps talking during “Cinnamon Girl,” get a divorce. Put your dog outside. Move at least 10 miles away from any other residence. These are just a few of the practical steps you can take to enjoy my music as it was intended to be enjoyed.”

Agreed. You definitely get your money’s worth when you go see a Tom Cruise movie. The guy gives his all, and never phones it in.

This seems like the NFL contract version of a pre-nup. Hard to go into a happy marriage that in theory should last forever if you’re already arguing over the terms of a hypothetical divorce.

Note to self: do not invite any Dutch friends over for dinner if I adopt one of these dogs.