Kudos to this guy for seizing the moment and Tebowing while it is once again topical, but points off for the poor form.

Oh goddam, you’re right. Thanks.

The only thing that Shaun has that Hot Fuzz does not is Bill Fucking Nighy.

No, in my hypothetical the starting pitcher walked two and then blew out his arm pitching to the third, so Harbaugh comes on in relief and inherits two base runners, but proceeds to retire 27 batters.

Well, maybe the original starting pitcher walked the first two batters, then broke his arm pitching to the third batter. Harbaugh came on in relief, and got the next two guys out, thus because he would be responsible for all 27 outs, he could say that he had thrown a perfect game in his role, but the box score would…

“Emphasis on near, fucko!”—Harbaugh

I’ve got one friend with a Lifetime movie in her history: her parents divorced, each got a sex change, and got married to each other a second time.

Uh...we must be reading different notes. This doesn’t strike me as bad AT ALL. Parents of really young kids often get lots of “send us a list of what he wants!” requests from relatives. When our kids were younger, my wife and I got these all the time. And we wrote lists, and we sent different lists for different…

Points off, though, for not having Maury Povich do the reveal. “And that was before you knew....that he will be tried NEXT MONTH FOR A DOUBLE HOMICIDE, wasn’t it?”

Most definitely, guys who get off by drugging women and then having sex with (that is, raping) them know that the system is designed to protect them. And that’s average, everyday guys—probably 10x that for a guy who is wealthy and famous. And the cops/DA/everyone always say “why would he need to rape women, he can…

“the short answer is basically this: Sharper was smart enough to commit his crimes in different states, and none of the cops who investigated him were smart enough to go looking for previous accusations.”

At the time, I glossed over the questions and just stayed true to my decision to leave. But later on that night as I was driving home, it hit me. Would they have asked those questions to a male employee? Would they attempt to “guilt” a male employee about working longer hours and being away from his wife and kids?

Ahem.

Tragically, the camera angle prevents us from seeing whether or not he is wearing pleated khakis.

Esp. one closer to the end of his career than the start of it. There aren’t a lot of players who start to get better (or even stay the same) when they hit their mid 20s.

Meanwhile the other horses, upon viewing this incident, mistakenly thought the revolution had begun and threw their riders, and were subsequently euthanized following the race.

That's because grandparents go home at the end of the day. My mom thinks the horrible (adorably horrible, but still) things my kids do are hilarious too. That's because after she's dealt with it for about three hours, she gets to go home and have a nap and a glass of scotch.

Sweet! Presumably this means I can use the back of that squad car to get blown instead of doing it behind the dumpster like some perv?

His voting base would regard slim fitting (or even well fitting) clothes and suits as being too fancy and "European." The shapeless, oversized suits are designed to appeal to the average guy whose wife buys him one jacket every 3 years from the sale rack at Men's Wearhouse.