A close analysis would reveal the pubic area of the model in question to be entirely shorn of hair, thus the complaint has no basis in reality and should be discarded.

You mean "well regarded person in [industry] seems to know about younger people in the same industry who people not in that industry might not know that much about?" Holy shit, FOR REALS?

"Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are asking for "at least $20 million each, plus a percentage of the back end" for the next 50 Shades movie"

If only there had been some way to record who it was who took his stuff.

If you're staying at a nice hotel, tip the ever loving shit out of the guy doing valet parking, and ask him.

The other restaurant is unable to provide complimentary desserts on your birthday because this restaurant stole all the ice cream.

"He wasn't alone—the likes of Brian McCann, Jacoby Ellsbury, Stephen Drew, and Mark Teixeira all went hitless, and Chris Young struck out."

I was hoping this was going to be some sort of man-on-the-street bit where he got people to explain why they don't vaccinate their kids, and then had a doctor pop out of a box and point out just exactly how they are wrong.

I see what you did there, you magnificent bastard.

"Notably, of all the people who have offered descriptions of what's on the tape, not one claims to have actually seen it."

Guy at the first store I went to gave me the 1/6 salary line, and I said "do you have any idea how brutally my wife would murder me if she found out how much I spent/wasted on her ring?"

I struggled mightily with all this shit when I went to the big jewelry stores prior to proposing. Cut, clarity, grading—ack! Intimidating...and crazy expensive. Then I found a nice vintage jewelry store that had a cool collection of older diamond rings from the 1920s. The one I picked out has a filigree band that…

I'm not sure that RMJ=H loves America that way you do, the way that I do.

Holy shit that's good. Now do one about Clemente!!!

That's cool if last year counts as one of those 2 years.

Like the geisha, modern day courtesans are trained in the arts of seduction, conversation, and their knowledge of quasi-modern events involving C-list celebs.

Albert Belle? Who the fu...oh, you mean Joey Belle.

Few people are aware that a decades long trend of declining rates of NIH funding are entirely to blame for Lance Armstrong's doping regimen during the late 90s/early 2000s.

How noble of him to also visit the site of a bombed building from the Korean War era.