Well, hold up, are you saying replace half the liquid with vodka? That's a different story. I thought you meant replace half the total volume with vodka. That's doing to lead to some passed out high schoolers.

A high school kid drinking 22 oz. of vodka? Yeah, I think an adult (or any sentient human with an IQ >20) would figure out that something was amiss.

that sort of creepy spy laptop recording is "mainly" used in terrorism cases

"You can hardly smell dem Honey Nut Cheerios."

There's really nothing as fun as watching a bunch of progressives* stand around and pat themselves on the back for having the courage to adopt a dog from a shelter. I mean, yay for you. I'm truly (genuinely, no snark right now!) happy that you have a dog that you love, and who loves you back. But, really, enough of…

Hey, leave David Miscavige out of this!

Likewise, the church's most important building, known as the Super Power Building, opened in 2011 after 12 years and $40 million worth of interior renovations.

You've just been Inception'd!

He has a rapsheet??!?!? You think we should alert the fuzz, get the boys downtown to go collar the perp?

"I see you've drawn a picture of a pig pooping on its own balls. For the last time, Lupica is NOT eligible this year."

Or they'll keep the vote and strip that person of his or her vote in future elections. I mean, that's the obvious outcome, no? Wonder why this person is so anxious to give up his/her vote.

David "Scrappy/Consistent/Coincidentally White" Eckstein, obvs.

Looks great!

General rule of thumb: Literally nothing from a time capsule is as interesting as (a) the people who put it there thought it would be when opened in the future, and (b) the people who open it are hoping it will be.

"Her death-by-stoning will spare her poor children a lifetime of shame of having a whore for a mother."

"Force fed" is probably the wrong term. Threatened that if they don't bulk up from 240 to 265 they're going to lose their scholarship? That's probably the correct phrasing. For the sake of brevity, I'd say "force fed" works just as well.

I have no idea why he'd react so poorly to the sight of a curly haired dude yelling at him.

One question: has Florida State initiated its own investigation? Federal law (specifically, the Clery Act) says very clearly that the school must COMPLETE an investigation within 60 days of the original complaint, or risk a substantial Title IX complaint. This is serious shit if FSU has not done its own investigation,…

Can you do a table that would attempt to correlate number of qb's with overall winning percentage? Ideally it would distinguish between situations where someone like Roethlisberger gets injured and his backup plays a few games, and situations where a team cannot actually decide between which of their bad QBs should…