Rest In Pontiacs, Burt.

Amen.  The fact that he won because of an 18th-century quirk is the symptom; the fact that even one single goddamn person vote for him in the first place is the disease.

I’m not a doctor, but I’m fairly certain you have to have a heart to have a heart attack.

Should either of my nieces ask me “Why is the sky blue?” I would answer it’s the same reason the sun is yellow— the white light of the sun is composed of all the colors. But the sky somehow causes the blue part of sunlight to leak out into the sky, like ink drawn over a piece of wet paper. If you crammed all the blue…

That explains the term “hitting the pickle switch”, then. Cool, never knew!

In their defense, the ninth circle of hell is a frozen lake according to Dante.

Hell, Michigan is ALWAYS cold in winter😜

Elvis had a thing for extremely unhealthy food. Give him the munchies, and he’s dead five years earlier!

At least it saves on fuel economy by flying around the cabin the whole time.

Donald Trump praised border patrol agent Adrian Anzaldua, who he said “speaks perfect English,”

Aioli. Anytime you see an opaque mayonnaise/semen type substance next to a vegetable wrap, it’s aioli.

america works just like a car... you put it in (D) to go forward and (R) to go backwards...

During the Cold War I was stationed in Korea with an Army signals intelligence unit. One boring night we were watching Korean-dubbed Batman episodes on the oscilloscopes when every fire control and air defense radar in North Korea lit up. Holy, shi-bai, Batman! They were on for about 30 minutes, then disappeared.

If anyone reading this is local to SoCal I HIGHLY suggest the drive out to my hot side of the Angeles National Forest. And Andrew you should drive you here and do a photo shoot and article, I’ll buy ya a beer when your done.

Skunk Works should be required reading in the US public school system.

Are you saying that this Malibu needs to be....retired?

Do you want some advanced civilization finding whatever trash can we send them up there in and coming here to kill the rest of us on the theory that we’re all like them? Because that’s how you get some advanced civilization finding whatever trash can we send them up there in and coming here to kill the rest of us on…

“Can’t they afford to have the same time zone as us? Is it because they’re a shithole country?”

This may be bigger than we thought. It turns out that there were many early, unsuccessful attempts at this BMW theft scheme worldwide that only succeeded in disabling the turn signals.

denied a petition to remove Bill Cosby’s star, insisting that stars are never removed from the Walk of Fame.