“Hoisted by his own retard”

His latest Supreme Court nominee believes that the President should never be investigated for anything because he doesn’t have time for that.

I realize there are real and systemic problems with the American justice system (from street-level beat cops all the way up to the federal bench), but, having come from a law enforcement family, I’m just going to say this:

The folks who squall the loudest about “having nothing to hide” are generally the same folks who…

‘a string of cans lain at the perimeter’

The irony here is that they are doing this to a Drake song. “Drake” is the term for a male duck, which by the way, did you guys know that ducks have no nerve endings in their feet, and thus can’t feel cold temperatures while walking/swimming? 

Oh, it’s just a sitting president telling the world he always knew his lawyer was up to illegal shit. Because....stable genius. 

so glad we did a 180 on that chinese telcom manufacturer so princess hitler could get some sweet sweet patent approvals in china...only for her company to pull a trump and go bankrupt

“That didn’t go as planned” should really be America’s tagline. 

Well, the tie he normally wears is for all practical purposes a leash anyway. Ties aren’t supposed to be knee-length.

no passengers means no flight attendants, maybe even no co-pilot if there are no paying passengers.  And if you start selling super cheap flights with any regularity, they will cut into your other flights.

That is a tool for crowd and riot control.

I did not know Trump state visit formal wear required ties on your arms and legs.

“It’s not fair! Colonel Sanders was always manhandling breasts and slobbering over thighs, and no one made him sign confidential settlements with the chicks involved.”

Long past the point of rage at the Republicans for lacking spines - which is completly in character.

Pretty sure it was just the last 9-10 feet that was tragic.

A 2019 gone THIS year?!
Are you saying that ... it went before its time?
(No? ... ::crickets::)

My father totaled a brand new Corvette as it was being unloaded of the trailer from the factory at the dealership. City works department was had pouring concrete for a new sidewalk and curbs at the intersection and had removed the stop sign. Dad went through the intersection and t-boned the vette. Didn’t look to bad…

It’s so mangled you can barely tell it’s a Mustang anymore.

America’s largest cosplay business is Starbucks, actually.

Can you please tell The Onion to stop making our world-reality imitate their art? I’m sure its not good for their business model either. This is not an article that should exist in the real world.