The real kicker must have been the point where the lawyer says “Lego cannot be associated with any game that fails to adhere to its ESRB ‘E’ rating, so you’re going to have to censor all those music selections that may be objectionable to small children...”

Trump Campaign Styles 101:

You con a smart person by making them think they’re getting the advantage over you by superficial enticements.

Schumer: “...Now that that problem is solved, I’m sure we won’t be hearing any more about it in the future.”

Missed opportunity on the title, kid:

I’ve heard theories that soldiers who ended up in the water by going over the sides had a better chance than the men on the ramp because water will stop bullets more effectively than you would first assume. The soldiers wading in effectively had a shield of sorts (until they got out of it, strained and sodden down…

Trump: “I was taught from an early age about winning. How it was the only thing to strive for and celebrate. I remember many a time in my youth how my father would mutter ‘Hail Victory!’ when no one else was watching...”

There was. The operative word being there was a stay rope. Then, suddenly, there wasn’t...

That resource officer has a defense against the child neglect charges in that he was not hired as a caregiver, but a law enforcement officer.

I went sober in 2014, which is typical of my terrible luck and poor timing.

No hope for it. Not even the fashion police can charge a sitting President.

How did they aim guns like this during WWI? In many instances they were directed by radio from an airplane. A two-seater biplane assigned to the gun would fly out to the planned target, trailing an antenna wire out, and telegraph the fall of shot in relation to the target via clock reference and distance (something…

I know where you were going with that mental image, but I still can’t help but think of a cat trying to manipulate a cutting laser.

In before all the folks saying “Well, that puts every army in range of a railway in danger. What about the rest of the wide-open battlefield?”— bear in mind that constructing a railroad was comparatively easy: Laying ties and rails took less time and material than grading and rolling down road ballast, especially if…

‘Troop’ is a cavalry term. Why the hell it’s being used here is beyond me.

In keeping with the true nature of its namesake, then, the ship would be have to be crewed by soulless automata.

Lay the blame on Rickover with dropping tradition for political expediency (fish don’t vote!).

As I understand it, Captain James Kirk had command of the USS Zumwalt instead.

Heck, the convention against naming a warship after a living person has already been broken— time to take it the the next level. I bet someone has already floated the idea of making Trump the first sitting President to get a ship named after him while still in office. Someone had to have tried that by now.

Stick an “L” between the C and A, and problem solved.