I never raised my kids to spew verbal shit out of their motherfucking face anus.

“I never said I was in collusion with Russia. The fact of the matter is, what collusion was there, it was with a private organization. Not Russia, just a collection of well-to-do private individuals in a private organization. It is called the Society of Pretty Excellent Charities Transforming Russia Everlasting.”

“...As if a big fucking baby shutting down their job, for at least a month, and possibly much longer, because he isn’t getting his favorite toy is something that people should totally have planned for and saved accordingly. ...”

Wait— when Kellyanne violates the Hatch Act it’s all “Burn the witch!” But when Federal Aviation Agency employees are warned not to commit the same offense it’s an insidious campaign to silence opposition?

“...is God’s appointed vessel.”

I purchased and downloaded the game for my Xbox One X all the way back in November. I still haven’t started it up.

The exhaust gases produced by burning gasoline or any other hydrocarbon fuel is predominantly carbon oxides and water vapor. So there’s already steam coming out the exhaust pipe well before the water injection was introduced.

America’s Founding Fathers made no attempt to overthrow the monarchy of England to claim for themselves, nor did they aid France to do the same (such aid actually flowed the opposite way).

The election is supposed to be that evaluation. The problem is some of us evaluators are more cognizant than the others, and our reports are each weighed by differing means.

3. Declare that he won this fight.

Did he make them give back the candy as well?

“Ten decorating tips for all those rocks you took from Hawaii...”

The gameplan for the Davy Crockett was to pop them over the Soviet armor coming through the Fulda Gap and kill the crews with the radiation exposure.

“Due to range constraints of the delivery system, we cannot guarantee how many targets you will get within face-melting range. We sincerely regret if one of those faces happen to be yours.”

The kicker is that, after the President toddled out of the room to cry about the mean lady, Pence asked Pelosi and Schumer what their counteroffer on the 5.6 billion might be. Of course, they did not dignify this power play with a response— if the Republicans want negotiate, next time they better bring an actual leader…

Doctor Theopolis and The Computer Council in 2420!

“I don’t like these numbers. I hate these numbers.”

I’m pretty sure Trump gets a contact buzz from the alcohol in all that spray tan solution he absorbs and would get the DTs if it were ever denied to him.

If they’d stopped building F-15s before the companies merged, then the plane would justifiably be forever known as a McDonnell Douglas machine.

I hear he’s a stingy asshole. If he wants to get some advertising, he’ll use someone else’s money or simply won’t pay up afterwards.